Creating a family bed

There's lots of good information out there about the benefits of cosleeping for some families. For us, it was a natural choice because of our circumstances. First, we were having a great deal of trouble breastfeeding, and keeping baby close made frequent feedings easier. Second, I had postpardum anxiety and truly thought something was going to happen to my baby if I wasn't watching him sleep - I checked on him obsessively throughout his night-time napping sessions. Third, we moved in with my parents because I was suffering from postpardum anxiety, and we didn't take our crib with us.

Now, co-sleeping is the best choice for our family (not just something we continue out of circumstances). This works for us particularly because my husband works nights and sleeps days - which means Roman sleeps with me all night and naps with his daddy during the day. We still use the nursery and the crib and the organic crib mattress (specifically chosen because it wasn't sprayed with flame retardant chemicals). Roman plays with his stuffed animals and his bumble bee mobile in his crib. Sometimes, we will do a diaper change or clothing change in the crib, if Roman is particularly wiggly and may not be secure on the changing table. The crib can also be used if in the future cosleeping is no longer working well for us.

This is how we made our family bed:
We started by removing the headboard, footboard, and frame from our queen-sized mattress and boxspring. Next, we borrowed an extra-long twin-sized mattress and boxspring from my parents. We placed the two sets of mattresses side by side, and they are exactly the same length. The twin mattress was not the same height as the queen, so my husband built a simple H-shaped platform for the twin mattress/boxspring out of 4X4 scrap wood. Once matching fitted sheets were placed on both sets of mattresses, it created the look of one large continuous bed. Warning - since our home and rooms are extremely tiny, the family bed takes up the entire sleeping room. There is only enough space between the mattress and the wall for a tiny bedside table (it's actually a wicker patio table that I bought at a consignment store). This is really not the best setup for our room from a decorative standpoint, but it still looks pretty great to me.

Creating a family bed has created a shift in how we view our home. We no longer see our house as "my room" and "your room". The boundaries have been taken down in that sense. There is now more of a "sleeping room" and a "nursery/playroom". This is important because I thought that we could never have more than one child as long as we were living in a two-bedroom home -- the parents and each child have to have their own space, right? Not so! For now, sharing our spaces works for us.

making room for a winter garden

When we moved into our 750 square foot home on a huge city lot in the fall of 2006, we knew we were going to remove the messy and poisonous oleander bushes in our backyard. I just wasn't in a hurry to cut them down since they were the only green things in our backyard at the time! We kept them trimmed and raked up their fallen leaves. The blooms were nice and colorful (mostly white with an accidental red) and they provided tall natural privacy from our neighbors. They kind of enclosed the north side of our property so that we didn't see rooflines and power poles. But after Roman came, my husband and I knew it was finally time to cut them down and dig out their rootballs (which are enormous). And with all the 12+ trees we've planted in our backyard, we figured the oleander bushes wouldn't be missed. It will be nice not to have dangerous/poisonous plantings in the backyard with a soon-to-be curious toddler. I'm also psyched because the freshly tilled ground where the oleanders used to be is in a perfect location to become our winter garden (plenty of sun and out of the way). I would love to try some carrots (Roman's favorite at the moment), corn, peas, and maybe squash if its not too late in the season. Homesteading and self-sufficiency - let give it a shot! Not only do we need to spare our cash, but we need to eat more fruits and veggies. I already don't have to go to the store for diapers and wipes since I use cloth - it would be awesome to just take a walk in the backyard to shop for dinner! I'll keep you posted!

Just monkeying around

Roman's nursery is decorated in bugs... bugs, ladybugs, butterflies, flowers, frogs - anything you'd find in a garden. I chose a gender-neutral theme because I did not find out the gender of my baby during my pregnancy. Of course, I secretly hoped it was a little boy....and as it turned out I was right. My aunt Ali predicted it was going to be a girl and said that this baby girl would heal wounds within our family and bring out the love in all of our hearts....after all ... who doesnt love a baby, right?

So, in this garden themed nursery, there is a quilt (of questionable construction) that I made the summer I was 21. I handpicked all the cotton calico fabrics with bugs and butterflies and I was determined to make this baby quilt. I had always been interested in quilting, because my mom and my grandmother were pretty handy and definitely creative with a needle and thread. Later, after Roman was born and I had bouts of postpardum depression, my doctor brought me into her office from the exam room to show me pictures of the quilts she had made for her son - one each year, given to him on his birthday. She sat with me over her lunch break showing me pictures -- each year her son getting older and the quilts getting larger in size. She told me that I should get back into quilting as a way of working through my difficult labor and delivery experience. I was thinking that it was a good suggestion, but I didn't make any promises. A quilt a year seemed like quite a big promise for someone who hadn't washed her hair in 4 days.

If you've ever been on Etsy.com, you've probably spent hours e-browsing at all the handmade items. My recent search for "baby boy quilt" turned up like 285 pages. But, as it turned out on page 70-something (2 hours of e-browsing later), I found a quilt for Roman. Sock monkeys!!! Yay!....and lots of them speckled onto yellow and light blue fabric, made with love by Donna of The Quilted Lion. Now, I didn't really have the money, but I bought that quilt and wrote Donna a note. The note said "my grandmother is a quilter, but because of recent tension within the family, she probably won't be making a quilt for my newborn son. I love this quilt and my son will snuggle with it for years to come". I didn't expect Donna, the quilter, to write back, but she did. She simply said, "time is precious". She told me that her grandmother, Etta, was her number 1 favorite person in the world -- but she never sewed a stitch, and lost a lengthy battle with cancer last year at age 91.

Now, I never met Etta, but man, I felt Donna's loss in reading her email. I was picturing Etta as the smells-like-powder, makes-you-biscuits-and-gravy, leaves-lipstick-kisses-on-your cheek kind of grandma. Man, I really missed her. I missed her like I missed my dad's mom - who used to wrap toilet paper around her red hair each night and also take the crusts from her toast at breakfast and twirl them into a "cinnamon roll" for me. Then I was kind of sad because - in contrast- my mom's mom (the quilter) was more of a hang-up-the-phone-on-you, no-i-dont-want-to-hold-your-baby, didnt-go-to your-baby-shower, take-your-pictures-down and say the f-word kind of grandma (if there are others like her...enough to classify them into a "kind").

So, as it turns out, there are people who don't love babies (aunt Ali was wrong on more than one account). But, Roman's not old enough right now to know any different. He's long forgot that sweaty car trip up to Roseville...to visit his only greatgrandmother, who didn't even want to hold him.

Grow the pumpkin!

There are no shortage of strange and corny children's programming on television. When Roman was 4 weeks old we starting turning on the television so that he could see the colors and the characters on cartoons and hear the voices and the songs. There was one program in particular that had grown men in jumpsuits singing about different topics...its called "Imagination Movers". They are the guys to call if you have an "idea emergency". They will brainstorm their way out of any predicament. Well, we are still watching this program (having accepted the fact that sometimes men wear jumpsuits outside of prison). We are happily singing away to all of their songs, including the "grow the pumpkin" song. In this song the strange jumpsuit men, using only a tiny pot and a small watering can, grow a pumpkin the size of an asteroid from seed in about 2 minutes elapsed time. So, to get into the spirit of the autumn season and halloween holiday, we've been singing "grow the pumpkin" whenever we see our pumpkins at home or pumpkins at the store. We definitely hummed that little dity two weeks ago when we went to the Bishop Pumpkin Patch in Wheatland, where Roman sat next to this big-mammer-jammer of a pumpkin. The little monkey in the front pocket of Roman's denim overalls was quite impressed with the size of this pumpkin and really enjoyed the hayride too.

Two cookies are better than one?

So lately Roman is addicted to these specific teething biscuits. He's had his two bottom teeth since he was 3 months old, but we've been working away at those top teeth ever since.

The teething biscuits are his favorite, but I have to drive across town to get them and they cost $3 per box. He can go through one box per week. So, I decided that it can't be that difficult to make your own teething biscuits. I researched recipes - some had eggs (a no-go for us since egg sensitivity/intolerance/allergy runs in the family). Recipes were so varied that I ultimately just started mixing some things together. I started with Gerber rice cereal and added whole wheat flour and vanilla. More moisture (and probably sweetness) was needed, so I added organic apple sauce to make a dough. I kneeded all of this together and then used the rim of a bottle to cut the circular cookies. I cut them about 1/4 inch thick and they don't rise. Next time, I will make them thicker. I made my first batch, but so far we are having a bit of difficulty transitioning from rectangular biscuits to mom's homemade circular cookies. Same concept, but the new shape is a bit hard to get used to. Roman must be like his mom in that regard - doesn't take easily to change but never turns down a cookie.

One with nature

Watching Roman experience pine scented mountain air and a freezing cold babbling creek was similar to admiring the Mona Lisa in the Louvre. He could have splashed for hours in that icy waterhole. Of course, splashing must be very freeing and a good way to ward off hypothermia! (and yes, those are teething bicuit crumbs all over his chubby cheeks.)

It has been a "family value" of ours to enjoy nature with Roman. (Its so cool that we are both a "family" and in a place to determine our "values"). I feel it is very true that children are overstimulated by the sights and sounds of a technologically advanced society (flatness and squareness of rooms in houses, artificial light, televisions, etc), and lack exposure to the "natural" sights and sounds of breezes and sunshine and rolling hills. So... at every opportunity I take Roman outside. We have already taken Roman to the ocean to hear and see the waves in addition to our trip to the forest. I know he appreciates what he experiences and stores it away until he names it "nature". He was telling me all about it when I snapped this photo. I really wish I spoke "babyromanese".

Cloth Diapering 101

When I first set up my baby registry, I registered for gdiapers upon the recommendation of a friend, not knowing the first thing about them or cloth diapering. I was thinking they sounded better than pins and plastic pants! Little did I know that a whole world of cloth diapers was about to reveal itself to me...in all its lovely colors, fabrics, and forms - no pins necessary!

I never even got the chance to use the gdiapers. The reasons why are a whole pandora's box that I will open in another post at another time.

Our cloth diaper journey actually started after two bouts of fungal diaper rash. We purchased 5 pairs of old style BumGenius pocket diapers, 3 green and 2 blue, purchased from craigslist. That was enough for about 8 hours, give or take, and several pees and one massive poop. I had no idea what to do with the poop once it was in the dipe. So I read more about it online and purchased a toilet sprayer, which is considered a nicety in cloth diapering, but I just love the way it blasts off the poop! I then purchased a FuzziBuns pocket diaper, and then 2 BumGenius Organic All in ones (no stuffing pockets, yay!) and some wetbags to store the dirty diapers until laundry time. Fast forward, we've made several purchases on craigslist, KellysCloset, Amazon and Etsy which resulted in a pretty impressive stash of fitted diapers, pocket diapers and covers and soakers in fleece and wool, I also stumbled through several sewing sessions to make flannel and fleece inserts, doublers, and wipes.

So, after the stash was ample and we trouble-shooted the leaks, something amazing happened...and it may seem small to you, but it totally changed our life! This is what happened... we no longer bought disposable diapers from a store- no Huggies, no pampers, no disposable diapers period. Where we had previously made several trips to a big box store to stock up on Huggies to fill up the landfill, now we simply used the cloth diapers, washed them and reused them over and over and over. And, I am not even going to go into how adorable they are on the little guys tooshie. I am also going to save my confessions of cloth diapering addiction for another post. Bottom line (pardon the pun) I absolutely love cloth diapering.